The Most Important Thing You Can Ever Learn

Is your body as slim, fit and healthy as you would like it to be? Do you have all the money you could possibly want? Are your love life and other relationships deeply satisfying? Are you filled with a sense of purpose and can’t wait to get up everyday and do whatever you do for a living? Does your level of fulfilment and happiness leave you full of energy and beaming with joy?  Is everything perfect in your world?

No?  I thought not.

Take Back Your Power

And it never will be, until you learn the most important thing you can ever learn……..I mean really learn it.  You’ve heard it said many times, but you don’t really “get it“. You know it intellectually, but you don’t “do it“.  And that’s not your fault…..you were actually taught when you were very young NOT to do it. But if you really want to be happy and fulfilled in life, then you’re going to have to take the time and make the effort to unlearn what you were taught.

You are going to have put in the work or nothing’s going to change. Sorry, but that’s just how it is. I mean, you don’t build physical muscle and a fit, toned body by sitting on your backside do you! And it’s the same with this.

If life isn’t working out for you the way you want it to be, then just like you would do if you wanted to improve your physical body, you have to learn the “anatomy” and science behind how life works and then put it into practice. You have to train, build and tone your mental, emotional and spiritual muscles. Then, just as you can run further and lift more when you train your physical muscles, you’ll be able to start to naturally think differently, feel differently and so cause different results in your life, once you’ve understood this one important thing that I’m about to tell you and have learnt to put it into practice.

The Most Important Thing You Can Ever Learn Is This:

It is your thoughts that control how you feel, not what happens to you or what people or things are in your life, and you are the only one who can think in your mind.

Just think about that deeply for a moment. It sounds obvious but don’t be fooled by that.

Happiness doesn’t lie in having that slim, fit, toned body, or all the money you could ever want, the perfect work or relationships. If it did, then 99.99% of the world could never be happy! Happiness is a state of mind, not a state of body, a person, circumstance or thing.

Although at times it is difficult or it seems like we have no control over what thoughts we think, that is never true. However hard it may be, we do have the ability to change what we are thinking and to choose what we think. Therefore you have the power to control how you feel.

The problem is, that as children we are trained to believe more in the power of others, in particular our parents, than in our own power.  We relied on them.  As a result we fail to believe in our own power.  We feel at the mercy of whatever happens or whatever we have. We fail to develop the habit of using our power to choose our thoughts. Instead our thoughts arise automatically based on what has been programmed into us from everything we have seen, read, heard or experienced, and we end up with no control over how we feel. We are taught that states of being and having, not states of mind, will make us happy.  

As adults we then transfer the power to control how we feel to other people, events, circumstances or things, and particularly to those in our closest relationships. We do this by depending on them to complete us and make us happy. We say things like: “When I meet my perfect partner I’ll be happy/If you do this I’ll be happy/When I make my fortune I’ll be happy/When I’m slim I’ll be happy/If the sun shines I’ll be happy.”

As long as you depend on someone or something else to make you feel good, you have relinquished your power and your happiness is insecure because it is impossible for someone or something else to make you happy all the time….. forever. As soon as someone says or does something that is not what you want them to say or do, you automatically think thoughts about it that make you feel bad.

Your happiness and the security of it lies in you, because you have the power to change your thoughts and therefore how you feel. The most important thing you can do for yourself is take back your power, stop expecting someone or something else to make you feel good, and start to choose your thoughts and think in a way that makes you feel good. That is a skill that we are not taught in school, but it is the most important skill you will ever learn.

1. Begin by trusting yourself to notice how you feel and that, when you have learnt how, you can refocus you thoughts onto ones that make you feel better. Trust that your happiness therefore lies within you and is under your control.

2. The next step is to understand that your current thoughts may seem like it, but they are not your own. You did not choose them, they have been programmed into you.

3. Then learn how stop the automatic thoughts and to decide which thoughts you will think, thoughts that make you feel good, and learn how to build the mental muscle that will make the new way of thinking automatic instead.

If you want to change the mental loops that keep you stuck or limit you, then click here  for a FREE 30 min Consultation to get you on the right path. 

The Counter-Intuitive Way To Get What You Really Want

There are so many things in life that we cannot change.  So many things over which we really have no control at all.  So much of our pain and anguish in life comes from wanting things to be a certain way, or wanting people to do things we want them to do, or the way we want them done. Yet most of it is beyond our control. We have no control over other people and what they do or say, and very little or no individual control over what happens in the world.

All we can really control is what we do ourselves and how we respond to what happens in our lives. So how are we supposed to get what we want and create a fulfilling life for ourselves?

I love the Serenity Prayer…. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Whether or not you believe in God is irrelevant……the prayer is really a call to your inner self.  It is calling you to be aware of how you operate in the world. It is calling you to question your attempt to control what you cannot control, and it is calling you to take action to change the things that you can change. Knowing the difference is simply about taking responsibility for your own thoughts, words and actions and not attempting to control anybody else’s. When you do this, all the angst falls away and the result is inner peace.

Developing the attribute, the mental muscle of serenity, or acceptance, is the key.  If we have serenity, if we accept the things that happen beyond our control, then they will not anger, upset and destabilize us.  Part of this is to surrender problems and things beyond your control.

Surrender is saying: “Your will be done”, “Live and let God”, or “What will be will be”.  It is accepting that you do not have the power to resolve the problem or change the situation. You do not have the answer, you do not have the control.  It is beyond your mortal capabilities.  Ultimately it is saying: “I do not know” and being comfortable with that.  It is being comfortable with letting life, or God, or some higher power take over. Surrender is allowing the outcome to be what it will be, without you trying to take over when you can’t, when you don’t have the control, the answer or the power.

Grace is the infinite, unconditional love, the power and the source of all life that flows around and through us all the time. It is the ultimate power of the universe that is purely focussed on the evolution of everything to reach its highest potential.  It is the power that grows the acorn to the oak tree, the primal cells of the embryo to the baby, the baby to the man or woman, and it doesn’t just grow us physically, it grows us psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, if we will let it.  You are programmed to be the best that you can be and you are supported by Grace to become it. It is what you are destined to be. That is the evolutionary, creative impulse of the universe and it is working in and around you always.

So when you surrender to that power, which is so much greater than your human mind (think what it has created….it has created worlds that spin in orbit and such a vast inter-dependence and connectedness of planets and forces that make the intricate workings of the human body seem like chopsticks compared to Mozart)…when you surrender your problems to that kind of power, don’t you think it might just be able to find solutions that you cannot? When you stop trying to force the issue and instead align your energy with that energy, you can see the solutions more clearly and trust that what is happening is all part of the evolutionary impulse, all part of your growth. You can trust and let go. Something bigger than you by far has got your back. You can accept the flow of life and drop all the angst of trying to control it. You can trust that it is all working out for your highest good, even though you can’t see how.  You can trust and let go.

So next time you feel like you are pushing and pushing and getting nowhere, or things just aren’t working out the way you want them to, you feel frustrated, you don’t have the answers, you feel sheer angst, try this.  Get into a quiet, meditative state and simply say to your inner self, God, the universe something like this:

“I surrender.  I give up.  I don’t have the solution. I don’t know what to do. Take this from me. I am turning this over to you. I trust that your power and knowledge are far greater than mine. You are far greater than me.  I trust that you will send the perfect response to this at the perfect time and so I trust and let go. I am at peace.”

Then take that peace and go on with your life, open to and gently observing the opportunities, intuitions, and blessings. Go on inhabiting where you are in life right now in the most beautiful way that you can and trust the flow of grace to resolve everything in the best way for you.

 

If you’re unsure what you want in life or how to move forwards to live your destiny then click here  for a FREE 30 min Consultation to get you on the right path. 

 

You May Not Be Sure, But Your Destiny Is Clear and Assured

I do not believe in destiny, not in the sense that everything was pre-ordained before you were born, or there is some kind of god directing your life like a chess piece.  But I do believe that you have a destiny and that it is clear and immutable, written into your very DNA, programmed into you before birth. And it isn’t hard to find.

When you think about it, you know that the universe is programmed for each thing to evolve into its ultimate state…the embryo becomes the baby, the acorn the oak, and you are programmed, through your inner GPS (your emotions) and the law of attraction, not just to seek, but to get whatever would most contribute to your highest happiness.  Here’s how it works:

You know what you don’t want because when it is happening, it feels bad.  So you know what you do want, because when you have it, it feels good.  When you align, through your feelings, with the vibration of what you want rather than what you don’t want, everything you want must come to you. This is because everything in the world is made up of energy and energy is vibrational. Therefore everything has its own vibrational frequency.

We are electro-magnetic energy beings and feelings are what cause that energy to vibrate and tune us in, or align us, to a particular vibrational frequency.  It’s like tuning in to a radio frequency to get a particular radio station. If you focus your attention and therefore your feelings on what you don’t want, then you resonate with and draw that to you.  If you focus your attention and feelings on what you do want, then you resonate with and draw that to you.  It works in the same way that when one tuning fork is struck and starts to vibrate and produce a note, another fork across the room which is on the same “wave length” will also begin to hum and vibrate.

If an acorn’s highest state of evolution is to become a majestic oak tree, then a human being’s highest state of evolution is to be in the highest state of happiness possible, a state of utter bliss, beaming, radiating happiness, intensely alive and glowing.  Because we don’t like getting what we don’t want, it is our natural impulse to learn how to get what we do want, to be happy. You are programmed to seek to understand how to be happy. Every event in your life that doesn’t make you happy is leading you to understand how to be happy.

When you go out and try to get things to make you happy, you actually interrupt the programme that would bring you what you want, because your vibration is one of lack.  The state that does not interrupt the programming and will bring you all that will make you happy, is a state of being not doing. It is the state of being aligned with your light, the Buddha mind, Christ mind….basically of being in the highest vibrational state there is of pure (unconditional and unattached) love, which, like every other state, is magnetic. (Think back to the tuning forks.)  You can choose your vibrational state and what you magnetise to yourself by choosing how you feel.

Being able to choose pure unconditional, unattached love in every moment, vibrating at that highest level, and emitting the electro-magnetic energy, the bliss that goes with it, is the ultimate evolution of a human being….enlightenment, or nirvana.  That is the equivalent for you and I of becoming a majestic oak tree, rather than a twisted, stunted one. Unconditional, unattached love means feeling good no matter what, feeling love no matter what. It means that the conditions in your life, good or bad, do not influence your feelings, your feelings are apart, separate, unconditional upon anything else.

Every person you meet, every circumstance is exactly where you need to be to allow the programming, your innate impulse towards feeling good, to work. This is not some arbitrary fate ….it’s just how you are programmed to operate.  That’s all.

Your destiny is to be happy.  You get there through feeling good.  You feel good when you can live unconditionally…..and learning to do that is what you are programmed to do.

If you’re unsure what you want in life or how to move forwards to live your destiny then click here  for a FREE 30 min Consultation to get you on the right path. 

The 3 Secrets To Living A Richly Rewarding Life

An affluent life is about so much more than having plenty of money.  An affluent life is one that is richly rewarding, which seems to flow gracefully and effortlessly.  It is a life filled with love and friendship, full of physical, spiritual and emotional health, and material, emotional and spiritual wealth. An affluent life is a happy life.

All the things you want, you only want because you think having them will make you feel good or better. What you ultimately want is to feel good, to feel great, to feel wonderful, to feel happy and at peace with yourself, with life, and to know that you have more than enough in every area of life…..no matter what.

This is not just a matter of positive thinking, far from it.  This is about your experience of life, about actually feeling positive, not just thinking it, about loving life and having life love you back.  This is about how you see life….whether you see fear, hardship, struggle and negativity, or love, abundance, ease and positivity. This is about more than putting on rose tinted spectacles.  This is about changing your experience of life, no matter what’s going on.

Imagine being able to stay serene even when really bad “stuff” happens.  Imagine being able to remain calm and in control, through the ups and downs, the joys and disasters of life. This is about freedom. This is about inextinguishable inner peace and happiness. This is about true affluence.

Living an affluent life depends entirely upon the mindset with which you navigate through life.  Your attitude to life and all that it brings you, determines your experience of life (i.e. whether you enjoy it or not).  And it also affects what you get in life.

Only those with a particular mindset can experience an affluent life. It isn’t a question of luck or hard work. It’s all about mindset.  This mindset is based on 3 core attitudes.  I call them the “Aha of Affluence”, because when you fully get what they are and absorb them into your natural way of looking at life, it’s like a Eureka moment. From that point on, everything is different. Everything is better. And you can never go back once you know what you know.

Introducing The 3 Secrets

I only have space here to introduce briefly the 3 core attitudes that will lead to you being

  • Happy for no reason
  • With a deep inner peace no matter what; and
  • Feeling vibrant

In the next few weeks I will post a blog explaining each of the 3 attitudes in more detail.

Attitude 1. – Acceptance

Everyone is always doing the best they can with the knowledge, wisdom and experience that they have.  This is crucial to understand. You must live with non-judgement and forgiveness, of self as well as others. Forgiveness means to over-look the mistakes to the core of the person, their immortal soul. It doesn’t mean you have to accept what they did, but you do have to see it as a mistake they made because they were doing the best they knew how, however bizarre that thought may seem to you. Remember, you have different knowledge, wisdom and experiences.

AND it means acceptance of the things you cannot change, surrendering to the flow of life. We are brought up in a culture that urges us to believe that we can do anything we want to do…..but it isn’t always up to us. Earthquakes and car crashes happen. Companies fail and we lose our job through no fault of our own.  We cannot control what somebody else choses to do.  We can only control our own reaction.  So knowing when it is something you cannot control or change, and accepting it is key to inner peace.

Attitude 2.Humanity

Everything can be taken away from you except your integrity. Your home, your livelihood, your family, your health, your liberty. Everything.  Everyone will see you through their own perspective, not as you see yourself.  So in everything you do remember this, you are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life. Everything can be taken from you except your thoughts and if you know, if you look into your heart, your motives, your behaviours and know that your heart is pure, if you have your integrity and can live with yourself, then that is all that matters. If you have made a mistake, and we all do, then attitude no 1 applies.  Forgive yourself and where you can, apologise and make amends.

AND humanity means living with respect, compassion and loving kindness for all creation.

Attitude 3. – Appreciation

Look for the gift, the learning in everything. In every difficult, painful situation, there is a gift.  It is usually a lesson in self-growth.  Sometimes it is making way for something better.  Sometimes it is just appreciating what you have instead of bemoaning what you don’t have. Look for the beauty in all of life.  In every moment.  When you feel appreciation, you feel good.  It is one of the highest vibrational energies there is and will attract more of the same to you.

AND expect the best. Appreciation means staying open to the possibilities in every situation, however seemingly impossible they may be.  It is trusting that things will always work out for the best, even when you can’t see it.

 

If you want to live an affluent life and are struggling to find that sweet spot, or have mind patterns that seem to keep you stuck then click here  for a FREE 30 min Consultation to get you on the right path.  

 

 

 

Think Something Different, Do Something Different, Be Something Different……It’s Your Time.

You have a list of things you have to do in order to get done what you have to get done.  You can hold it all together.  It’s not so bad.  You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other….. the problem is it doesn’t feel so good inside. You know deep down that you want something else, something more, but you just don’t know what, or how to go about it.

You want clarity about what to do, clarity about which way to go, clarity about whether to go this way or that, clarity about how to do something different.

The alternative is you get to feel more and more miserable. You’re not on your right path.  Your emotions tell you that.  But it’s the safe option, the known option, it’s what others expect of you. But it’s not what your soul yearns for.  That elusive thing you want is out there, floating just outside your mind, teasing you because you know it’s there but you can’t quite see it.  What is it that you are meant to do? How can you feel that expansion, that sense of purpose and joy that your heart knows it is meant to feel? Where is it?

The longer you hide your head in the sand and get on each day, with what you have to do to get by, the worse you feel, feeling really bad. It affects your sleep, your weight, your health, your relationships.  Until nothing seems to be going right.  It’s time to think something different, do something different, be something different,……and feel something different……something wonderful, something right, something inspired.

I know.  I’ve been there.  It’s a scary place.  Wanting so much to feel good, to feel like you’re on the right track, having a deep sense of clarity, a deep knowing, a gut feeling that yes, this is what I am meant to be doing, this is who I am meant to be. When you have that clarity, that absolute knowing, nothing can hold you back.  All the blocks that you thought stood in your way, dissolve. The answers appear and you find the courage, the commitment to follow your path, to walk to the beat of a different drum and find the song you were meant to sing, the dance you were meant to dance, the life you were meant to live.

It doesn’t matter where in the world you are right now, if there’s something inside of you calling, then call me on 0800 083 1681.  I won’t offer you a pre-packaged programme.  What I will do is give you a 40 minute complementary telephone consultation.  During that call you will get clear on your next best step. Of course I can’t get you all the way to where you want to be in one call, so if I think I can help you further then I’ll let you know how we could go about it. Typically I work intensively with my clients for 6-12 weeks. Everyone is different and I tailor our work to what you need.  We can work by phone, in person or a mixture of both.  If you’ve had enough of feeling bad and want to experience real change, that’s all I’m interested in.  Real change.

 

I Want To Thank You….

This time last year I felt the need to listen to the natural rhythm of the seasons. Winter is a time of retreat into the depths of the earth for most of nature. A time of withdrawing, going within and focussing on the roots, ready for new growth in the spring. So for 40 days I virtually hibernated, spending my time reading, reflecting and meditating. Instead of reviewing the last year, making resolutions, thinking about my work and how to develop it over the next year, I deliberately stopped trying. I stopped planning, making decisions, and trying to grow my business. Instead, I gave my mind nothing to think about, space where it began to wander free, to wonder, and finally to tune in to the song of my soul. The mind is such a loud chatterbox, always responding to life and telling us what we “should” do. The song of the soul is a deep, silent knowing, a gentle hum in the depths of your being, a soft vibration which given space will build and reverbrate and echo out, into and through your life. When the mind is busy, we pay no attention to the song of the soul. It is only when there is stillness and peace in the mind that we can hear the song it gently sings to us, calling, beckoning us on our true path.

During my retreat last year I heard the call to write. It wasn’t difficult and needed very little planning. Once the idea was there, I found that it took over with a life of its’ own and my Daily Connections and Daily Inspirations were born. I was able to quickly and easily put together a process for getting the writing done and getting it posted onto my Facebook Page. This is the difference between inspired action and deliberated action.

However, what I didn’t know was whether anybody would find what I had to say worth reading, or inspiring. I just knew that I had to get my message out there and keep getting it out there. I have trodden some dark paths in my life where the forest seemed ready to swallow me whole. And I knew that the way I had learnt to navigate myself out might be just what somebody else needs to hear as they tread their own dark path. But my Facebook Page is one of thousands, maybe millions. I sent invitations to a few people to like and follow the page, and thankfully they did. But without constant engagement on the page, Facebook won’t feed my posts into other people’s newsfeeds, and my message will remain hidden from view.

So as this year drew to a close I began to feel huge appreciation to you for being such a support in helping my writing to be seen. It has been a bit of a slow burn but I know now that people I have never heard of are reading and finding some inspiration or comfort in my words. That is down to you, for liking my posts and commenting on them and building the visibility of the page.

So THANK YOU, for taking the time, and yes, sometimes the courage, to click “like” on a post, or to pop in a comment. It really does mean so much to me. My message can’t get out there without you.

As a token of my appreciation, I have recorded a short meditation which I offer to you as a gift this Christmas, to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart. Please click the link below to hear the meditation. If you would like the mp3 version so you can download it to listen to on your ipod or phone, then please click here and put “Please send me the Mp3 ” in the comments box.

https://youtu.be/Tuw3Y6PPuMM

Before I sign off, I have put below some brief instructions to go with the meditation. Please take a minute to read them before you listen to the meditation.

Blessings and I wish you Peace and Joy this Christmas.

Thank you.

 

10 Minute Stillness Meditation Instructions

  1. The purpose of this short meditation is to help you to connect to that place of deep inner stillness where your mind becomes quiet. It is also to deeply relax you physically.  This is important especially in times of great stress or emotional disturbance.  We use alot of energy up in these emotions so regular deep relaxation can help to restore your energy levels by simply giving your body a little bit of time out.
  2. Please find a comfy place to listen to this meditation where you can go into deep relaxation and will not be disturbed.
  3. It can help to create private space somewhere in your home to be your “sacred space” where you go to meditate. You might want to put some special things there that connect you to nature or to spirit. You can make a personal “altar”. The purpose of an altar is that it is a place where you bring things to be altered. So in creating this sacred space, you are creating a connection in your mind, an altar of the mind, where you can bring aspects of your life, thinking and emotions to be altered by the inner work you do in this space.
  4. The meditation is short, but once you know what you are doing, you can use this process without the recording to guide you and can stay in that place of deep stillness for as long as you like. Some people like to meditate to music and that’s fine too.
  5. You cannot do it wrong!  Your mind is not supposed to be empty, just don’t engage with the thoughts that occur and allow then to drift off. In time your mind will slow down when you begin to meditate.
  6. It can be helpful to keep a notebook nearby to write down any thoughts of insights that may come to you as to you as you meditate.
  7. Enjoy! And do get in touch if you have any questions or if I can help in any way.